Omi the Eggplant

Warnings for excessive parody and the world's first and only Ange/Weiß crossover. Also, warnings for genkiness, abuse of the exclamation point, a naked Guardian, and bishonen-ai.

Rating - WSP-17 For Weird and need to be immature enough to watch South Park.


*Cue in disgustingly cute theme music*

Omi(in full rubber eggplant suit) - *enters on to a cardboard version of a garden with trees, flowers, and a vegetable patch* Hi kids!

Kids - Hi Omi!

Omi - Let's bring out our Produce Buddies!

*Enter Ken the Cantelope, Aya the Apple, and Yohji the Cucumber*

Aya - *thinks* Shall I kill Omi slowly and painfully or quickly and painfully?*

Ken - *all into it* Hi kids!

Yohji - *thinks* Sleeping with the hairdresser, make-up lady, producer, director...(goes through entire crew list) makes this all worth it.*

Omi - We're gonna sing "The Friendship Song"! But first, we need today's Special Friend! Now, who are we gonna chose?

Familiar Voice From the Audience - Pick me, Omi-san! Pick me!

Omi - Come on down!

Marcel - *runs down in an Omi the Eggplant T-shirt while the other kids look jealous* *Hugs Omi* Oh my God! I love your show! I watch it everyday! *starts to hyperventalate*

Ken - Easy there... little fella. Why don't we skip the song and get your family down her for the Family Fun Time?

Marcel - OK! Come on down everyone!

*Randy, Sei-Lan, and Olivie come down to the stage*

Omi - Ah, isn't that sweet? He brought his mother, his adoptive brother, and his adoptive brother's girlfriend!

Sei-Lan - Girlfriend?

Randy - *whispers* Just play along, we don't want to upset the kids.

Sei-Lan - *whispers* Tell that to Olivie-sama.

Olivie - *hugging Marcel* Yes, Mommy luvs her Marcel-chan!

Yohji - *shuffles up to Olivie* You know, Miss, you look rather fetching that dress...

Olivie - *decides to play along* Really? *bats eyelashes* So is there a particular reason you're the cucumber? Does it.... reflect a part of your.... personality?

Omi - Let's all introduce ourselves!

Marcel - *finally calm* I'm Marcel!

Olivie - I'm the beautifully mysterious (and single) Olivia!

Randy - My name is Randy.

Sei-Lan - *in a fake girl voice* I'm Sei.....Chan. Yes, that's right. Sei-chan.

Omi - Alright! Everybody pick a partner!

*Olivie and Yohji pair up, Omi with Marcel, Randy goes with Ken, and Sei-Lan and Aya just stand next to each other*

Omi - Alright, we're gonna play "password" *gives each of the Produce Buddies a card* We all have the word, whichever teams gets it first wins a special prize. Try and play along at home kids!

Omi - Milk.

Marcel - Cookies!

Omi - *shakes his head*

Yohji - Fight.

Olivie - Tea Party.

Yohji - *gives a 'WTF' look*

Ken - Hat. *mimes putting on a hat*

Randy - Timka!

Ken - *another 'WTF' look*

Aya - ....Fluffy.

Sei-Lan - Randy.

Randy - *Blushes and thinks* How did the apple dude know my pet name?*

Omi - Meow.

Marcel - Tweet!

Yohji - *thinks* screw this* Pussy.

Olivie - Beaver!

Omi - *gets all red* Ok, Ok, let's stop now! The word was "cat".

Kids - O-h!

Single Kid - I thought it was my mom.

Omi - *nervous laugh* Let's have Story Time! Who has a NICE story to share with us?

Olivie - *raises hand* I got one!

Omi - Alright then, let's all sit beneath the Story Tree.

*All sit in front of Olivie*

Olivie - Boys and girls, this a story about a whale, no, this is a story about being happy. And different. You see, as Miss Olivia was growning up, she was blessed with a beauty and glamour that not even the most elegant male outfit could properly excentuate it. So Miss Olivia spit in the eye of conformity and she became happy. Sure, her parents disowned her, but what is freedom without sacrifice? Not only am I willing to stand before in women's clothing, but I am also willing to stand before you as I truly am! *strips off his clothing* Do not look away, children! The human body is a thing of beauty! And I shall go forth and enlighten the world to this fact! *streaks out of the studio past all the screaming children*

Omi and Yohji - Dammit, that's the fifth time that's happened.

Marcel - *in a daze* What's happened?

Yohji - The foxy chick turned out to be a guy...

Omi - We've had a streaker on the show...

Sei-Lan - *feeling inspired* I will follow in this noble example of truth! Randy and I are in love! *forcibly frenches Randy*

Randy - Sei-Lan... I thought this was just my obligitory exploration of my sexuality. But your right! We may be young, naive, and of the same gender, but we're in love dammit! *cue up romantic music* Sei-Lan!

Sei-Lan - Randy! *hearts, flowers, and sparkles dance around as they embrace and kiss*

Randy - Let's go to Province Town! *struggles to pick up Sei-Lan and carry him*

Omi - They're right! We all need to stop living these lies! *throws off eggplant suit* I'm actually a very flat-chest woman!

Aya - *removes apple suit* I'm a writer on Friends.

Yohji - *strips off cucumber* *poses in his black thong underwear* I am one sexy bitch!

Marcel - *stands up* I'm a huge KORN freak!

Ken - *takes off cantelope* I....I... I was a professional soccer player only two years ago, but no one seems to recognize me in a plot hole bigger than Yohji's ego.

Omi - Yes, children! Cleanse your souls of the lies you tell to the world!

Guy - I have every Pokemon product. And I'm 18!

Girl 1 - I'm a huge yaoi fan and I'm gonna follow Randy and Sei-Lan! *runs out of the studio with a camera*

Girl 2 - I own both B*Witched CDs!

Guy 2 - I am Batman!

Omi - That's our show kids! And remember "Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love!"

*cue up ending music*

The End?

Olivie - *being dragged out of a water foutain by two police men* Stop this! Naked is beautiful! Naked is free! Your iron bars and stone walls cannot imprison my beauty and freedom!

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